I am looking for some help in understanding if the following changes since my divorce in September of 2011, would be enough to change custody for my 4 year old son. First a little background. We currently have Joint Custody (Legal and Physical) with a week on week off rotation. Now to what has changed:
-Ex wife has been in over 10 sexual relationships, one of which the guy was eventually charged with sexual assault. The others are people met in AA, NA, or Mental Health groups.
-My ex has been diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder along with Anxiety and Depression, and was previously addicted to pain pills, which we cannot confirm or deny she is using now.
-She lost her job, which what we were told is that she lost it due to being late, then found out she was dating a married guy, then at a child support hearing she stated she lost it due to mental health. She apparently cannont work due to the mental illness.
- Her current bf tried to commit suicide while my son was there, and the bf had to be in treatment for a week or two, and upon finding this persons name he has 5 felonies, and one of which was back in 1993 for raping a girlfriend by knife point. He has multiple run ins since then, including within the last 4-5 years, DUI, marijuana possession, assault.
-There is no communication from my ex if she has some emergency come up such as her going to the hospital, or ex trying to kill himself, she relies on her group of friends all of which are of questionable character.
-She does not contact me if child has to go to doctor.
-Her family kicked her out of their house, and has kept their distance from her.
-I have had to pay daycare once because she couldn't afford it but went out of town, have watched my son on her weeks multiple times (not a complaint), and she is lying to everyone including in court about everything.
Answer
If a previous custody order was entered, the standard of review is elevated. Generally speaking, to meet the threshold for a change of custody, the child must have been integrated into your home as the custodial parent with the other parent's consent; OR you must demonstrate that the child is endangered physically, emotionally or developmentally in the current custodial situation AND that the benefit of a change in custody outweighs any harm caused by the change. Meeting such standards requires painstakingly documenting issues and crafting moving papers that address the correct standard.
You list a myriad of potential issues. However, you do not take the critical step of tying them in with the care of your children. That is critical and would require a review of the facts. For example, the number of new relationships is irrelevant UNLESS you can demonstrate it has some impact on the children that amounts to endangerment. How were they harmed? Apparently someone was charged with a criminal sexual conduct offense. What was the nature of the offense? Did it involve your children? Those are the issues that must be fully explored and prepared for presentation.
Losing her job and dating a married man would not have any impact on child custody unless some correlation to the "endangerment standard" can be made.
It certainly sounds as if there is a basis to seek a change of custody. However, the case must be properly prepared. If you do not make a threshold showing in your motion and supporting documents, the Motion can be denied without an evidentiary hearing.
I have more than 21 years of experience in custody matters. For a consultation call 612.240.8005.
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